For the past 3 years, one of my new year's resolutions was to get all my videos onto my computer and external hard drive. I am so glad to say that the 3rd time making the resolution is finally a charm....and only about 9 months into the year.
Before I started actually putting them on the computer, I lined the videos up in their order by year, then month.
Do you see the trend? First year of marriage (far left) not so many tapes. Second year, Gracey. Gracey. Gracey. Gracey. 3rd year, slows down a little until Emily is born at the end of it. And now, 2009, I am only on my 3rd tape! I don't feel I missed much, but I am seeing that I do need to be a little better these days!
I documented what seems now to be every second of Gracey's first year. Corky was in Iraq and so all these videos include us waving to him, blowing kisses to the camera, and taping a lot of me just interacting with Gracey as a baby.
Last night, Corky and I were watching the video of Gracey being born and the 2 weeks that followed. It was just the 3 of us enjoying time together before he deployed. As we watched the video, I silently sobbed behind him. The emotion was shocking.
It was somewhat of an "out of body" experience for me. My heart ached for that young, happy couple that was anticipating the hard goodbye. They (Me and Corky) were filming each other as they took turns holding their new baby, singing to her, and praising any little movement or sound that she would make. I know I was there, but it seemed to be a lifetime ago. Who was that couple? How did they find so much joy in those few weeks with their new child when they knew the possibilities of the future?
I cried watching because I was reminded that there was something truly divine holding us up at that time. Despite the heartache, life was wonderful....euphoric even.
Was it the postpartum hormones?
Possibly.
Was it the prayers of so many?
The pleading to Heavenly Father for Corky's safety?
The pleading for my sanity?
Definitely.
Just as Corky and I have, Gracey and Emily have both loved watching these videos. I hope that they will forever cherish them as I do.
While our lives, for the most part, have remained far less dramatic in the past few years, there is one common theme of these videos....JOY! Whether we are watching clips of Gracey being born, Emily being born, first steps, first words, soccer games, dance recitals, and solo performances in the living room....I am eternally grateful for the joy that I have in my life, and the technology that enables me to look back and actually see it.
Here is a picture I snapped of the girls watching some video as it uploads to the computer. Normally I wouldn't allow popcorn in my bedroom, let alone near my computer, but this seemed like a special occasion.
